The Mission Trip Leader Fanny Pack Syndrome

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We love it when other people say things we think… but funnier.

Today’s referred blog comes from Jon Acuff’s Stuff Christian’s Like blog…

The Mission Trip Leader Fanny Pack Syndrome

Something happens to mission trip leaders about a month before they go on a trip. It’s subtle at first, most of them won’t even notice it before it’s too late. But it’s there, quietly lurking, waiting for just the right moment to strike. I am of course talking about Mission Trip Leader Fanny Pack Syndrome or MTLFPS. That strange phenomenon that overtakes people that have spent their entire lives as productive, healthy, non-fanny pack wearing members of society. That odd desire to fasten a small piece of luggage to your waist. It’s a problem, and one that few people are willing to talk about.

But after careful consideration and some quiet time, I decided to come forward. To address this growing concern and invite you to take a look at the journal of someone about to fall prey to Mission Trip Leader Fanny Pack Syndrome.

5 weeks before the trip, a leader journals:
“I can’t believe that elder suggested I get a fanny pack. That’s crazy. I’m not a fanny pack kind of guy. I’d never wear one. Seinfeld was right when he said “it looks like your belt is digesting a small animal.”

4 weeks before the trip:
“I have so much stuff to keep track of. My passport, my money, emergency contact numbers, a bus pass, keys to the rooms where we’re staying. I wish there was an easy way to carry it all. Some sort of bag, maybe a satchel. I’m not getting a fanny pack though.”

3 weeks before the trip:
“I need to make sure I don’t get my money stolen when we’re downtown on the trip. It’s probably statistically safer than my own city, but still I want to be careful. I wish there was a way to strap valuables around my waist somehow.”

2 weeks before the trip:
“During my lunch break today, I went to the mall without telling anyone. I tried on a few fanny packs. And actually, they’re not even called that these days. They’re called ‘hip bags.’ I like that, it sounds, well ‘hip.’”

1 week before the trip:
“I heart hip bags!! There are so many pockets and zippers and compartments. And Velcro and snaps and buttons and I am in ‘waist pack heaven!’ I know the kids will tease me on the trip, but what do they know? With their hip hop and their twitter. This is cool. They’re wrong. I will never remove this hip bag from my body. I am in love!”

It all seems like a joke at first until you notice that your mission trip leader is still wearing that fanny pack a few months after the trip. And he has a name for it like “Roger.” And he fills its plethora of pockets with things he doesn’t need instant, constant access to like dental floss. The only thing you can do at that point is to gather the people that love him, get a pair of scissors to cut it off his waist and have a fanny pack intervention.

Stay alert, only you can prevent MTLFPS.

P.S. Thanks for the fun idea Jan.

– Jon Acuff
Stuff Christian’s Like

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